Monday, December 18, 2006

My Time of Day is the Dark Time

"Strangers in the night exchanging glances
Wond'ring in the night
What were the chances we'd be sharing love
Before the night was through."
-Frank Sinatra

This song kind of creeps me out. It's a stalker-ish song. The whole part about strangers in the night exchanging glances. Come on now. Who in their right mind exchanges glances with random people in the night? Not I for one. Although, I do enjoy walking around at night, or at least walking home at night.

Now I know that this isn't really normal. I mean, as a woman, it is hard to walk around the streets late at night without thinking about being attacked or raped. This is just how it is. All women will understand this, and I hope that the majority of men understand it too. But as a woman, because we are the "weaker" sex, because we live in a man's world, we have to think about these things. However, I like the night time.

"My time of day is the dark time
A couple of deals before dawn
When the street belongs to the cop
And the janitor with the mop
And the grocery clerks are all gone.

When the smell of the rainwashed pavement
Comes up clean, and fresh, and cold
And the streetlamp light
Fills the gutter with gold"
-Guys and Dolls

This is how I see the night time. Not all the time, but when I am walking home from the bart(train) station or the bus station after a night on the town. It is quiet and there is no one out except me, except the dark and the calm. I want to dance and sing. I want to pretend like I can tap as good as Gene Kelly and swing around the lamp posts, clicking my heels and jumping for joy. Not like Dorthy, but suave and graceful. It is as if I am on a sound stage, that my normal town, that's busy and "real" during the day, becomes a theater by night, becomes the back lot of MGM studio. And who is there to watch me make fool of myself?, no one. It's me and the street, the shadows and the lamp posts.

I like the day. I like the day for its beauty, for the saturation of colors that burst even when it's grey. I like mail boxes, how blue they are, how you can see them a mile away and know it's a mail box. The shape, the contraption, it's all very clever. I like red sweaters and green foliage. That's a generalization. Green foliage could be so much, and is so much. It represents so many textures, so many greens, shades, and shapes. I think my favorite green in nature is moss. I love Irish moss and how it feels. It's soft and seems cozy for some reason. The color is almost as true a green as you can get. I tend to not like lichens as much. At night though, you can't see all of this. The colors are gone, the chaotic noise, the shapes.

I fear the shadows sometimes. I quicken my pace if I feel like someone is behind me. My palms begin to sweat, my heart beats slightly faster. And then I step into the light, the spot in the street where an iridescent yellow illuminates the pavement. It's misty and I can see my breath billowing from my mouth. I stand there watching, watching myself dance circles round and round with ginger rogers in my arms.

"I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feeling
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
For love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I'll walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Singing, singing in the rain"
-Singing in the Rain

1 comment:

doris day said...

yeah i know what you mean, i LOVE the nighttime and it pisses me off that i can't go for a walk alone whenever i want, but a lot of things piss me off :) I can't feel you on the stalkerish thing though.. i think it's romantic! i've dated more than a few strangers after "exchanging glances"

p.s. it cracks me up that i have all the songs you quoted (several versions too) i think sometimes you might give me a run for my money on who is the faggiest...